When English is not your first langauge

When English is not your first langauge

Hey! if English is your first language you may not make these mistakes but if, like me it is your third language, you are bound to mess up. Here are some real funny mistakes I made.



To my boss, on a Sunday night, asking for a leave. I was dead tired and had three shots of coke and water so I wrote in the subject of my email:

“Leave me.”


To my colleague, in a work email:

“I have shared with the others your kink which your showed me.”

I was supposed to write “your link” here.


To my friend suffering from the flu, in FB chat:

Are you dick?

The trivial confusion between “s” and “d” when you are typing in a rush.


My boss called me and gave me a lecture on procrastination. It was in the middle of his lecture that he asked me what was the problem as I was non-responsive, at which point I informed him that I did not know what the word “procrastination” meant.


Reading a Christian Epitaph

“The Gay will come…”

When I asked my brother which Gay person the epitaph could probably be referring to, he told me it was “The Day will come” and that I needed a new pair of spectacles.


Visiting the mother of someone I know, in a hospital:

“Your mother looks seductive.”

He looked at me horrified as I repeated my comment about his aged mother in a hospital bed, I wanted to say “sedated”.


I am sure, I made a few more, these are the only ones I can remember at this point.












6 thoughts on “When English is not your first langauge

  1. Oh John .. .thanks for sharing and making us smile today! I think I make as many and English IS my ONLY language. haha! God bless you and all your communications! 🙂

  2. “Your mother looks seductive.” Ha! That was funny.

    I barely speak/write/think in English and it is the only language I know. My brothers wife is Belgian and she can speak 5 languages fluently and about 5 more well enough to get by. It always makes me smile when she apologizes for not understanding me sometimes. I’ve had to explain. it is me not you! I’m the one that is butchering my own language!

    I would have never known you weren’t raised speaking English if you hadn’t said so.

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