You Killed My Son…And I Forgive You
A great story, how people can find love and solace.
You Killed My Son…And I Forgive You
A great story, how people can find love and solace.
A great expression of love from a father to his daughter, wonderfully told.
In a box somewhere in the garage there is footage of the two of us. Although it’s lost in storage, it streams in my memory. I am holding you. You fit neatly in my two hands. My heart fits perfectly around your little finger – small as it was. It is a long time ago. It is the embodiment of that worn out metaphor we reach for to describe fathers and daughters. “Tied around fingers” or something like that. Clearly, I am entwined. I’ve always been. Quietly, I bend down and whisper something to you. It’s hard to make out what I’m saying on this fuzzy old tape. But, I know exactly what I said. I’ve been saying it for fourteen years. You have heard me say it in word and deed every day since. “You will always be this child here in my hands. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I love you.” It is fourteen years ago, but it is easily today.
One day, if God wills, you will know how deeply a parent loves a child. It is the bottomless vein in a parent’s heart. But, you will never know how intensely a father loves a daughter. It’s hard to put into words. It is a mixture of strength and softness unique to this bond. A father’s love hovers like a citadel over the untouched treasure of his daughter’s life. (This is why your dad acts like a suspicious sniper around you.) A daughter thrives within its safe barrier. A father’s love for his daughter is a preservative against a thousand ills seeking to infect the innocence of her life.
Is it any wonder ladies are reduced to tears as they look back on the landscape of their life and cannot see a father’s sweetness? It is a deep regret… and needless. Girls need dads. Neglect here is cruel. The worst thing a dad can do sometimes is nothing. It seems I counsel the ubiquitous broken young lady on a weekly basis. She is the lost young woman who seeks self-worth in the affection of a young man – never having received it from dad. Hers is a deep pain. Tenderness is a sublime power in a father’s hand. It is amazing what time spent showing love at eight does for a little girl when she is twenty-eight. It builds a confidence as few things can. It is a foundation set deep in the heart.
You do not fully realize it now, but one day in the midst of life’s many hardships you’ll see what I’ve been doing all these years. You’ll see what I whispered to you many years ago. In the darkness of your pain, you’ll reach down and suddenly feel a foundation beneath you. I know you love me. I know you respect me more than any other man on this earth. But, I have not been turning your heart to me all these years, as much as to My God. My leadership of your life is intended to provide you the slightest glimpse of His awesome power over all things, including you. I know My God will steady you.
When the time comes you will sense a steadfastness you had not sensed before. There in that moment, His love will be my greatest gift to you. A vision of a mighty God, which I have painstakingly opened to you conversation by conversation & tenderness by tenderness, will come up and catch you. My own love, incomplete and imperfect, will now make sense in the infinite shadow of His. You will bend down quietly before your life and say, “Thank you, Daddy. God is Great. He has neither left me nor forsaken me.” Your earthly father will be content in being overshadowed by your Heavenly one. You are not mine. You are His. I will rejoice from within the cleft of His greatness as I watch my daughter worship from knees I once put Band-Aids on.
I pray that my care for you brings into sharp focus the love of Our Savior. Unconditional. Sacrificial. Patient. True. Serving. Consistent. Present. I pray my sincere affection is a contrast to the many deceptions that parade as love in this world. I pray the sight of your father in broken worship of Christ gives you the courage to raise your own heart up in praise before mankind. I pray my transparent confession of sin and weakness will incline you to retreat into Christ’s righteousness at the sight of your own. I pray most earnestly that you will have not merely copied your father’s faith, but sincerely found the Lord Jesus Christ as the supreme object of your own.
Dear child, do not settle. Love a man who loves Christ more than you – and you more than himself. Be attracted to tenderness, lowliness, self-restraint, consistency and sacrifice. Seek that man who carries the imprint of our Lord’s cross upon his life. Love that man who does not live in fear of your emotions, but in fear of your Lord. Don’t marry a boy… no matter how old he may be. Do not fall for the first young man who comes along and shows you attention. Rather, follow that man whom comes along and resembles the unconditional grace of your Lord Jesus.
I am so sorry about the condition of the average young male. I regret that they confuse lust with love. I am saddened that they are more proficient at gaming than at balancing a checkbook. I cringe that they know more of sports trivia than doctrine. I apologize that they know better how to handle a gun (which is completely respectable in one sense) than how to treat a lady. I know godliness in a man is hard to find. But, find it. Otherwise, you will spend your life raising the man you thought you married. The church and this culture are filled with boys masquerading as men. Let them pass.
The man you are looking for is no boy. He is a servant. He cares for your needs above his own. If I am at all the man I claim to be, you may look at your father’s love for your mother and know what it is I’m describing. You should be able to recognize it when you see it. That man who will lay down his life for yours is the type of man you can easily give yours to. The man who sacrifices himself is easy to serve sacrificially.
By God’s grace, I have only intended my own love to serve as a high-water mark in your soul. None except Christ’s love for you will rise above mine. This way, when that man – whom I pray for everyday – comes along and exceeds your father’s love, you will willingly give him your heart. And I (secretly desiring to shoot him and bury his remains in an undisclosed location) will lovingly pass on my treasure to that man who stormed the fortress of a father’s love with a weapon as meager as a servant’s apron.
1 corinthians 2:2 “For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified“
Original article here An Open Letter to My Daughter.
Many people who believe that their calling in life is to “speak the truth in love” appear to believe that the speaking of any truth is by definition loving because they care enough about that person to give them the truth. However, by definition, if we are admonished to speak the truth in love that means that it is indeed possible to speak truth in a manner that is not loving and simply pointing to the truth is a not necessarily a defense for how we speak it.
I Cor 13 (the love chapter) makes it clear that there is truth that can be spoken without love and when it is done, the impact of those words or deeds are so empty and self-defeating as to have been better off not being spoken at all.
This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means, but these are some questions I ask myself when I’m tempted to speak “truth” to others which I believe they desperately need to hear and heed.
1. Are these words really true? It seems elementary that they would be if we’re speaking truth, but very often I have to confess that things I have said in passion toward someone else have been “true” but perhaps not the whole truth or perhaps the truth about something from my perspective that leaves some things out that might damage my point or make me personally look bad. When that’s the case, I may not really be speaking truth at all. I may be twisting or using the truth to win an argument or make myself look or feel better at somebody else’s expense.
2. Are these words really necessary? The speaking of truth, if it is done in love takes into account the state of the person it is directed toward and their ability or willingness to hear them. There can be a timely element to truth that makes it more likely to be received. When an alcoholic for example is laying drunk, it may seem a perfect time to tell them, “You’re an alcoholic and you need to sober up!” The very state of their drunkenness however, pretty much ensures that the message cannot be received. Perhaps the more loving thing to do might be to provide a bed and a room along with some oversight (and I’m not speaking about constant enabling here) to where the person is sober and then in that window of opportunity then take the time to speak the truth. There’s are some “truths” that in that context may never have an appropriate time to be spoken. Just because something is true doesn’t necessarily mean it’s always the right time to speak or even that those words should be spoken at all if the impact of them is not going to benefit a person or point them toward something better in their lives.
3. Are these words kind? Kindness can be tough at times and there are hard things to hear and to say that may in the long run be kind. Kindness in this regard however, elevates the needs of the person hearing over the wants and needs of the person speaking. There are things too that a person may need to say that is primarily for their own benefit, but that doesn’t minimize the need to say them in a way that takes into consideration the other person(s) in terms of their ability to hear what is being said.
Many people who hide behind the banner of “speaking the truth in love” seem to have convinced themselves that any truth is loving simply because it is truth. That type of view is toxic and often the people who espouse it are in fact defending their own egos, their own judgmental character, and equating themselves as the measure of truth in other people’s lives. Better perhaps to step back and think just a little bit and perhaps pass things through the 3 filters above and consider where the love it, before pushing such “truth” upon others.
By Bart Breen
Hi guys, happy new year 2013. I had wanted to share with you a little earlier this post but got bogged down with other things and never got the chance. I am delighted to share this with you now.
We are outside the very small town of Kasur in Pakistan, near the Indian Pakistan border area. Although there are many deserving people in this area but we carefully marked the most deserving families and went to wish them Christmas with gifts for everyone. the pictures says more than I can describe in words.
And yet people sit down in the comfy chairs and sing hymns, eat fabulous dinners and never think of the people who are not as privileged as they are. I’m not being self-righteous here, far from it, if only the church, the people of God would do more of they are supposed to be doing, we could spread a lot of love.
I have decided to divide the post in parts. This is day one of the missionary trip.
As you know I was recently away on missionary tour. I would very much like to share the work which my family has been doing for some time now. We are a small family team by the name David Foundation, our mission is to evangelize, preach and reach people where Christ is not known. We live and work in Pakistan among communities both non-Christians and Christians alike.
This Christmas, we planned to go to a place called Tiba (it means a sand mound) and rightly so because this place is housed on a large sand mound, about 500 homes here. Its a small village and abject poverty reigns here. You can click on images to enlarge them a little.
This whole village was burned down completely in 1993 by Muslim mobs. The government help was poor. These people were once the owners of fertile land around this place and then, especially after this place was burnt, people slowly started selling off their land, the buyers were all Muslims and now these people work as labor on the lands they once owned. The health and hygiene conditions are the worst of all.
“Lives that make no sense”. This is a MUST read guys, A MUST READ. Also I would highly recommend that you follow JCC’s blog. Many ministers can write beautiful words and blogs but there are very few who actually carry it with a burden of Christian love and ministry. As a fellow worker in ministry, there is so much to be inspired from and JCC today inspired me.
So, there is this guy I know. He is not someone with great wit or style, no scientific achievements or even a good educational background. This guy belongs to an average family, I would not call it a rich family, a poor one, may be close to trailer folks. From a background like this, one can not boast any real world connections in politics and society. Suffice to say, he is an average guy, may be at times even more average than us. But there is something very unique about him. In fact it is so unique that at times he seems like the only one who actually has it. The truth is he is now one of the most well known personalities in the world.
When I first got to know this guy, I was met with a plethora of myths and legends about him. Some say he was born of a virgin; what? you have heard about this? okay, then please read a little more. So it was said he was born of a virgin. I am also told that this is the same claim that many people throughout history have held.
A while back on a forum this discussion popped up and I know this comes up often when atheists try to blame God (as if he exists for them). The following is a comment from a very nice atheist poster I know. The names have been changed.
… to be honest, I think it would be equally sick if God forgave Hitler. I mean, it would be pretty sad to see Gandhi burning eternally in Hell while Hitler lived an eternity of joy and happiness…I mean, for that to even be a possibility is so wrong.
But I say, why do you think that God forgiving Hitler sick or Gandhi burning in hell is unacceptable. While the former was a madman, the latter was almost a saint as far as actions are concerned but regardless of what those people did, you can not out-weigh grace by works. That is the point of which I think atheists, IMHO, have a superficial understanding. The gospel is not about what you did, but about what Christ did. You are seeing it the other way around through some sort of karma that is working behind the scene, well that ain’t the gospel and it certainly isn’t Christianity either.
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